Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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