By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
