he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
