yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Even my vagina gasped.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
