Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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