Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(586): View more from Michigan

All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon

Fav 4 1376 770
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(941): View more from Florida

Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?

(1-941): View more from Florida

Wow! You need to get laid.

Fav 47 1043 6208
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(505): View more from New Mexico

There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.

Fav 5 3546 1247
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(270): View more from Kentucky

Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.

Fav 11 1196 3792
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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(513): View more from Ohio

Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.

Fav 7 3527 1012
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(856): View more from New Jersey

i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.

Fav 13 1373 2925
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(856): View more from New Jersey

I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.

Fav 4 1361 1331
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(714): View more from California

Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power

Fav 6 791 274
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(907): View more from Alaska

I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.

Fav 0 74 7
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