Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
