Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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