I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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