It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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