she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
