So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
