i was born a porn star she said
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Randomize
