I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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