I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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