Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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