Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Randomize
