she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
