Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
