He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
