3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
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There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
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i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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