is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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