I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
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