Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
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