After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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