good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Randomize
