Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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