we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
