An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
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I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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