handjob tips. give me some.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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