dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
