we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
