I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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