Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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