Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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