but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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