Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
