Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
So vagazzling was a success
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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