5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
