I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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