I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
