i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
so much tequila, so little girl.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
