I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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