How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
