Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
