Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
it's great music for shaving your balls
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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