people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
