Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
