im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
