Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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