First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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