I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize