My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
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