Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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