lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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