The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
