Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Randomize
