Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
He kissed a someone with a penis
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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